Being Body Positive is difficult these days. If you listen to social media…none of us are ever good enough. “Eat a sandwich skinny bitch,choke on that same sandwich lard ass.” We have this crap drilled into our minds and eyes daily via memes,etc. Even some body positive memes are directed at making others feel bad. Wtf is that????
I’ve always tried to love whatever shape I’m in and make adjustments where I felt they were needed. To me that’s being body positive.
Again though…it can get difficult. You see photographers you’d love to shoot with placing model calls weekly… “I want a slim figured,tattooed model with flowing red hair” is pretty much the standard of beauty in this area. I am none of that,never have been. I was born with natural red hair (they want that fire engine color,I have naturally curly hair….they want FLOWING! I have 5 tattoos but that’s not a “tattooed model” I definitely know the difference. I’m not slim….”Oh but I mean really you’re so beautiful! Good for you for modeling…AND at 36? You look SO good FOR YOUR AGE”
Thanks??? Haha. You just have to hold your own when you are bombarded with these messages. YOU ARE FABULOUS.
The clothing industry doesn’t help. Khakis I bought from Holister in 2005 ,and still fit into, are a size 5 BUT the same measurements for those same pants now? They are the equivalent of a 13 which they dont’ even sell accordiing to their size chart.
A few months ago ,at weight 155, I downloaded my calorie counting app back onto my phone. Although I know those aren’t perfect…it DID show me what I needed to know. In my breakfast alone I was eating basically my whole days worth of calories…in carbs and sugars. It was time for a huge change. Cancer runs like a marathon sprinter through my family so health is important. I also wanted to trim up for myself…have my clothes fit me the way they used to. I’m in no way saying I ditched all the foods that I love. Nope…but moderation is key. The app showed me how to make adjustments and changed the way I look at what I eat!
I also started trying to work out at least 2-3 days a week and I set a small goal for myself. This week I found out that I hit my personal goal. I wasn’t trying to ditch 30 pounds or anything crazy,I was trying to fit into a beautiful dress that was about a size too small.Currently I’ve lost and kept off a consistent 5 pounds which doesn’t seem like a lot but…I’m happy. What I cared more about were the inches,the modification of unhealthy eating. I made better choices and the inches are coming off. I zipped that bitch right up!
It takes work. You cannot pop a pill and then eat fast food all week…lay on the couch and expect the pounds to melt away. You have to want to change…you have to put that thought into action and you have got to start somewhere.
The photos in this blog are some of my absolute favorites captured in film. They were taken by one of my favorite people…. Morgan Marlowe. In them I am 155 pounds and damn proud of that body. That body has been through a lot. AND it’s still here,still changing every day. I’m 150 now but if in a month that body is 170 I’ll love it just the same.
So that’s my journey so far,5 pounds down and a couple of inches gone. For the month of March I’ve set a new goal for myself to not only go to the gym 3-4 times a week but also to actively participate in some of the free classes offered there! I’m really interested in Barre None and Zumba!
Working out has been a great stress reliever in my life. I’m excited to be even more involved going forward. Between that and changing my diet…I am already feeling SO much better!
Until next time…